meeting with the mothership

Wednesday we had a meeting with the president of our organization. He opened by talking about the state of Illinois financially and closed with a survey of the standardized testing trend in the U.S.

Then, he asked us for suggestions. Our staff spoke passionately about wanting to serve our kids but feeling held back. We mentioned that many of us don't feel valued by the organization. At one point, my grade level partner pointed our that we both teach classes of 23 students with no aid. She asked why we promise families quality education when so many factors set us up for failure. She ended by saying that if she had a TA in her room, even half of the time, she would be better equipped to serve her students in small groups. His retort?

"Obviously that's what it looks like in your dreams. We are talking about reality."

As we walked away, angry and misunderstood, Ms. N pointed out that if you don't have the money for a car, then you don't buy a car.

day 140

Six of my kids are reading at a level D, and therefore have met their end of the year reading goals! Two are only one level away at a C. I realize that's only a 3rd of the class, but I actually feel like we are going to do this.

Also, ONE more day until spring break.

fun fact

From my Special Ed professor who has been talking incessantly for an hour and a half: most teenage pregnancies occur between 3 and 5pm.

silence

I wish that I knew how to address Trayvon Martin's death to my kiddies. I feel as though I am perpetuating the silence, and at the same time, I worry about how to talk about murder to children.

This article makes me wish that I had older students.

that parent

You know the parent everyone jokes about? Who calls every three seconds to tell you that their daughter just finished her homework, or that their daughter isn't feeling well, and may or may not come to school?

New girl's mom is that parent.

I appreciate the effort, but the woman has called me twice this morning and six times since I gave her my number on Sunday. There may need to be an intervention.

coming full circle to 23

A new student, T, started today. She is mostly quiet, a little spacey, and definitely young for her age. She hasn't smiled yet, and I think she is very nervous. I called her mom yesterday to introduce myself and she assured me that her daughter is very advanced.

Today, I did some preliminary tests. She knows her letter names. However, she had no letter sounds, she can't read, and she doesn't know what to do when I ask her to write me a story.

I feel frustrated that Kindergarten is making up for the children who have dropped out of various grades at my school (it's all about the monies). I don't think it makes any sense to take a child in March, especially one that is desperately behind. I can help her, but I can't get her to grade level.

I can only hope that I won't have any more students for the rest of the year. Twenty-three is my max.

with a heavy heart

I am appalled that there has still no decisive action being taken in response to the murder of Trayvon Martin. Why is there a question? George Zimmerman shot and killed a man for no reason. That's it.

Let's play the switching game. How would Mr. Zimmerman have reacted if Trayvon Martin was a white youth wearing a hoodie? How would the general public be reacting in the aftermath of a white teeenager's senseless murder? Answer those questions.

Trayvon could easily be one of my students. And whether or not they make good choices as they grow older, they will probably dress like their peers. Because that's what teenagers do. If this man is not arrested, then we are sending a message to the entire country that appearances and, nothing else, are grounds for death. We are telling our children of color that their life is not valued. That they are not safe because of the color of their skin.

My heart is heavy as I look around at my sleeping babies. We need more million hoodie marches -- more energy pushed against the system.