day 9

The past few days have been challenging, but also transformative. I began the year very concerned with replicating the management that I had last year -- my mindset was focused on re-creating. It has taken me two weeks to really acknowledge and accept that this year, and every new year, is completely different. With some students, like N, I realized that my "toolkit" of teacher tricks is actually only one year old. I have had to admit that I do not always know what I am doing. I've experienced a lot of humility.

Things are beginning to get better. Of course there are good days and bad days, but overall I see improvement. My staff, especially the special ed teacher, has been very supportive. She came in to observe N and said that she had seen an 80% improvement. I don't know if that's fair to say, but I am glad to hear that it is getting better. And, fortunately for both N and me, the other special ed student was placed in a different class. I finally feel energized and excited about really helping N grow this year.


Quote of the day:
"N, I see you using green. What are you drawing? What's your favorite food?"
"Laser Pancakes."

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Not even to see D. Or T, who brought me a banana on Friday.

grants

In an effort to find someone who will pay for me to go to the NAEYC national conference, I came across Pets in the Classroom.

You can apply for grants to help you purchase and maintain small mammals, fish, or reptiles in a preK-8. I can't find an application deadline so I figure it must be rolling. Definitely worth checking out!

My first full day with only one 15 minute break. Here we go!

#itsfriday

day 3

I am physically and mentally spent. Today was a hard day -- I was tired, kids were anxious to go home, and overall morale was low.

Then, I found out who my new kids are. One has special needs. I don't know the extent of her needs yet, but I do know that she has a hard time staying quiet and she can't count above 2. The other is an infamous child. The younger half of a dynamic sibling duo. I think that she will be ok, once I get her roped in, but I'm not happy about starting three days late with her.

Because of the shuffling, two great kids were taken from my class in exchange for three very challenging children.

In addition, N continues to exhaust me. He's not defiant, but his body will not allow him to stay still for more than 10-30 seconds. He's constantly touching, rubbing, and laying on everything in the room. I literally have no idea what to do with him.

I hate days like this. I have no energy to write my lesson plans for next week, which are due tonight.

merit badge

A friend of mine devised a system to help her feel better about all the things that are completely out of her control as a teacher: The Merit Badge. Every time something ridiculous happens, we call it a merit badge. No class list on the first day? Merit Badge. Child throws a book at your face? Merit Badge.

They are shuffling the children in Kindergarten around. I could tell you exactly why they are doing that on the third day of school, but instead I'll just say Merit Badge.

If they take D, my rainbow loving child, I might actually have a serious problem.

class size

Our district decided that we needed to house more kids in our kindergarten classrooms. We're all up to 24. I have one aid in my classroom once a week for two hours.

Not that I can't do it, and not that I'm not excited about the opportunity to have another child in my class, but really? These adults are just greedy for the funding that a child brings in. It's a very good idea to put 24 children in a classroom alone with an adult for almost 8 hours straight per day, said no one ever.

day 1

Day 1 went fine. Better than last year's day 1, but certainly no where near perfect. It was so absolutely wonderful to see my kids from last year. They are my heart. Still. It's hard to start over when you have something so good so fresh in your mind.

Surprises

• no one cried, at least not hysterically
• Everyone is WAY bigger (physically) than my ducklings last year
• Being vicious the first day only works on some children
• I have a child, let's call him N, who needs to be redirected every 10 seconds to stay on task. You'll hear more about him. 
• A cucumber held me over until 7pm

Relief 

• It's just easier
• They are just drunk cats, craziness to be expected
• Day 1 is OVER
• It's no longer a surprise that children will find ways to surprise you all day long

Quote of the Day:

"D, what's your favorite color?"

"Rainbow."

firsts

Got my first stress headache of the year today. And today was my first 12-hour day of the year.

I miss being a new teacher -- I was so excited. Because I had no idea what was in store.

new reflection journal

Last year at Institute my CS gave us all notebooks with beautiful handwritten notes inside. Her kindness spurred a habit of reflection that lasted the entire school year. I make it a point to size up my classroom once a week and think about what needs to happen. I also use this space to think and problem-solve about professional failings, understanding that teaching is failing but no one should have to listen to it. I think that reflection is an important part of PD. 

Anyway, my old notebook is nearly-filled and I wanted to start the year fresh. I have been looking everywhere for a notebook that when well with my needs and that I would be willing to carry with me everywhere for a year. Just when I almost gave up, I found this on Etsy. Beautiful children's books, intact, with blank pages added. I have never read the Frances series, but appreciated the reference to my name. Plus the book is hardcover and already worn, so it's ready to be tossed in my bag and lugged everywhere. 

back to it

Tomorrow is my first day back -- not with kids. I have PD for the week before kids come back. It's amazing how quickly Sunday has become my "gather-yourself and get organized" day again. It's a reflex that came back effortlessly, making me feel relief about other skills and habits that will hopefully return.

Now that some of my colleagues are back to work, the word is that although they are working similar hours and just as tired, they are enjoying their work for the first time. Sounds good to me. As much as I loved my kids, I was not happy last year.

A new part of my Sunday ritual is adding something concise at the bottom of my organization system (flexi!) to help me get through the week. If you can think of some inspiration, you should absolutely share. For this week of monotony, meeting new staff, and re-orienting myself in the ways of my poorly run school I chose, "Expect problems and eat them for breakfast." Exactly the kind of thing you want to hear your five-year-old's teacher say.

suspension rates by race

Nearly one in six African-American students was suspended from school during the 2009-10 academic year, more than three times the rate of their white peers, new analysis of federal education data has found. 

That compares with about one in 20 white students, researchers at the Civil Rights Project/Proyecto Derechos Civiles, based at the University of California, Los Angeles, conclude. They use data collected from about half of all school districts in the nation for that year by the U.S. Department of Education’s office for civil rights. 

And for black children with disabilities, the rate was even higher: One in four such students was suspended at least once that year. In some districts, as many as one out of every two black students was suspended. 

“These numbers show clear and consistent racial and ethnic disparities in suspensions across the country,” said John H. Jackson, the president of the Schott Foundation for Public Education, based in Cambridge, Mass., which supports equity in schooling for all students and efforts to improve outcomes for African-American boys. “We are not providing [these students] a fair and substantive opportunity to learn. Any entity not serious about addressing this becomes a co-conspirator in the demise of these children."

-- Ed Week

I'll give you one guess: What state has the highest disparity of suspensions between white and Black students?

gopnik on play in the smithsonian mag

We found children who were better at pretending could reason better about counterfactuals—they were better at thinking about different possibilities. And thinking about possibilities plays a crucial role in the latest understanding about how children learn. The idea is that children at play are like pint-sized scientists testing theories. They imagine ways the world could work and predict the pattern of data that would follow if their theories were true, and then compare that pattern with the pattern they actually see. Even toddlers turn out to be smarter than we would have thought if we ask them the right questions in the right way.  

Play is under pressure right now, as parents and policymakers try to make preschools more like schools. But pretend play is not only important for kids; it’s a crucial part of what makes all humans so smart.

-- Read more

Counterpoint

Can We Please, Just Once, Have A Real Teacher?

BY BRANDON MENDEZ, JAMES MILLER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT

You've got to be kidding me. How does this keep happening? I realize that as a fourth-grader I probably don't have the best handle on the financial situation of my school district, but dealing with a new fresh-faced college graduate who doesn't know what he or she is doing year after year is growing just a little bit tiresome. Seriously, can we get an actual teacher in here sometime in the next decade, please? That would be terrific.

Just once, it would be nice to walk into a classroom and see a teacher who has a real, honest-to-God degree in education and not a twentysomething English graduate trying to bolster a middling GPA and a sparse law school application. I don't think it's too much to ask for a qualified educator who has experience standing up in front of a classroom and isn't desperately trying to prove to herself that she's a good person.

I'm not some sort of stepping stone to a larger career, okay? I'm an actual child with a single working mother, and I need to be educated by someone who actually wants to be a teacher, actually comprehends the mechanics of teaching, and won't get completely eaten alive by a classroom full of 10-year-olds within the first two months on the job.

How about a person who can actually teach me math for a change? Boy, wouldn't that be a novel concept!

I fully understand that our nation is currently facing an extreme shortage of teachers and that we all have to make do with what we can get. But does that really mean we have to be stuck with some privileged college grad who completed a five-week training program and now wants to document every single moment of her life-changing year on a Tumblr?

For crying out loud, we're not adopted puppies you can show off to your friends.

Look, we all get it. Underprivileged children occasionally say some really sad things that open your eyes and make you feel as though you've grown as a person, but this is my actual education we're talking about here. Graduating high school is the only way for me to get out of the malignant cycle of poverty endemic to my neighborhood and to many other impoverished neighborhoods throughout the United States. I can't afford to spend these vital few years of my cognitive development becoming a small thread in someone's inspirational narrative.

But hey, how much can I really know, anyway? I haven't had an actual teacher in three years.

august 1

"August is like the Sunday night of a teacher's week." Unless you're Track E, in which case, happy first day of school!

I have begun planning Week 1 of Year 2, which seems daunting as I attempt to remember everything I have ever read, learned, or noticed.

As motivation, I keep going back to this: