feeling full and thankful

thankful that I don't have to get up tomorrow morning
thankful for ski trips and scratch tickets
thankful for the cold that waited til christmas
thankful that it is going to take at least five days to see all my people
thankful for christmas dinner, and ricotta pie
thankful for the last two inches I have on my baby brother
thankful for long drives by myself so I can finally belt one out
thankful that my house smells like home
thankful for the darkness and the quiet

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

victory shrimp

For months my grade-level partner and I have talked about how on the last day of school before break we would get ourselves some shrimp from Captain Somethingorother's to celebrate our survival. If we made it.

Now here I am. Eating my shrimp. Maybe it doesn't seem like that big of a deal -- for some people the first few months of teaching are a small fraction of the amount of time that they will spend in the classroom. Regardless, the past few months have easily been the most difficult thing I have ever done. Not because there have been massive everyday challenges, but because as a teacher you are expected to keep an even pace no matter what happens, and its exhausting.

At first, you're flying. High on adrenaline. Like this.

Then you start to wear down. Like this.

Next comes the anger. Pure bitterness. Like this.

But, finallyfinally you get here.

According to some, I have proved myself by lasting this long, but my goal in the new year is to stop just surviving. I have a classroom full of 21 beautiful little people, and we all need to enjoy that together. I want to make every day positive, not tolerable. I want to stop raising my voice. I want to cash in on the months and months of community building.

Before all that, though, I'm going to get some sleep.

Reason #699

One teacher per room is not enough.

I realize that schools cannot always afford to put a full-time aide in every room, and that not all teachers want another person in their room. However, when two people understand each other and enter a room with the same goals, the same priorities, it is a beautiful thing.

Today I was lucky enough to have one of the best aides in the building in my room for the literacy block. She did two guided reading groups while I worked with students one-on-one. She cut things and stapled things (tasks I normally do at home or during my prep). I cannot say enough what an enormous difference it made in my room. Everyone was more on task. Everyone was more accountable. Sixteen children got specialized attention in just an hour.

The amount of learning that happened this morning, one day before the break -- Christmas Eve Eve Eve no less -- is a testament to the fact that every teacher should have help.

holiday breakfast

Yesterday, we had a special holiday breakfast when everyone got to school. Students and teachers were asked to dress up, and we all ate salty bacon to our heart's content.

My favorite moment happened first thing. B raised her hand.

"Ms. Haley, who are you dressed as? Why are you wearing a tie?"

"I'm not dressed as anyone, B. These are my fancy clothes."

"For real?"

"Yes, for real."

2.5

I am literally at the exact halfway point in my week.

I woke up this morning with an awful cold. Somebody literally had to coax me out of bed. Ms. R just came to check on me, because apparently I look sick from a distance..


The good news? We have staff team building in the form of a basketball game today, so I got to wear yoga pants to work.

outdoor recess

I am not happy about global warming, but I am thankful that my kiddies are playing outside today while I sit quietly in my room.

can't sleep

I'm too excited.

Only 20 bathroom breaks stand between me and vacation.

on the bus

We're on our way back from our field trip, J is passed out behind me. A  and I are playing "the silent game." I guess it's not really fair that I have a phone, but I am kicking his butt. Right now he's making funny faces while barely keeping his eyes open.

Winner gets a penny from my wallet.

field trip all morning

And when it is over, I will be able to count the days on ONE hand.

our tiny tree

in the words of a fellow teacher

THIS WEEK MUST END.

If I were a poor black kid...

An article posted by Forbes today, in which the white male author acknowledges his privilege and then goes on to say that that if you are poor and black, you just need to work harder.

Perhaps you caught me on the wrong day, perhaps I'm just procrastinating because I don't want to write my lesson plans, but excuse me? I appreciate that this man is thinking about poverty, and perhaps even feeling a little guilty about his privilege, but this isn't about you making yourself (and other people like you) feel better about the advantages you received.


First, before you say one word about what "poor black kids" should do, why don't you have a look at what some of them actually do. Not the collective, generalized "they," but the people who have actual challenges because they are minority children living in poverty in the U.S.

My children get up way before the sun every day to commute from all kinds of places because their families want them to have a better education and enrolled them in a charter school. My kids start their day, if they make it to school on time, eating a breakfast  provided by the USDA (I'll let you use your imagination, but I can tell you it's nothing like what mom makes) in a noisy cafeteria. My kids spend 8 hours at school, where they are surrounded by the uneasy chaos that comes with an under-resourced, under-staffed school. School is not as stable, comforting, or structured as it should be. They get almost no time to grow emotionally, to play, or to feel supported because we are too worried about walking in straight lines and sitting in ready position. Some of them go to after school programs. And not the kind where you make crafts and have snack.

Many of my kids get picked up by different people every day because parents can't afford childcare. They tell me things that happen at home and my heart sinks. My uncle was shot... The other day I was riding a bus with my mommy and a man had a gun... Yesterday I was absent because we had to go to my baby sister's funeral... Never mind what the stress of poverty and poor nutrition does to a child's brain chemically and psychologically. Never mind that I am talking about 5-year-olds who still have twelve years of this to go before they are college-aged.

The last time I checked every poor black kid I know was working their tiny little self pretty hard just to stay afloat. They do the best they can every day, and no one has any right to tell them that they need to do more, that they are lazy.

day 75

"So if the small hand is pointing to the 5 and the big hand is pointing to the 12, what time is it?"

"When I was a baby I used to think walls were made of gold. And I would stick magnets on my head."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, like a girl."

"Ms. Haley, it's my nose. Whenever I try to smell... I can't."

single digits.

There are 9 days left until break.

I need to start wrapping their presents!

spills

Lately, I have been a magnet for all things dirty. The first grader who lost her breakfast. Chocolate milk in transit from the table to the trash. All kinds of blood.

How is it that I have been teaching for three months and now all of the sudden I can't wear my pants twice?

my first teacher gift

Yes, that is a pile of construction paper with a red bow on top. If only K was old enough to understand the irony -- no one did provide construction paper at the beginning of the year.

Now, how to regift it to her so I keep getting colorful handwritten notes?

it's beginning to feel a lot like christmas

Everyone said they would crazy before Christmas. I was warned.

But I just keep thinking to myself, WE STILL HAVE TWO WEEKS. If they are like this now, what are they going to be like on the 23rd?

Deep breath.

funded.

We just evacuated the building for a potential gas leak. During my prep. Which means that I have not had one second to breathe since forever ago. I let them have a few minutes of extra recess so that I could actually breathe, and when I just checked my email:

I really needed that today. Thank you all, so very much.

SPARK

This is exactly where you should enter the code to double your money. When you enter this code it triggers a matching donation from Donors Choose.

We are so close! Only $196 (or $98 if donors enter the code SPARK at checkout) left to raise!!

so close!

We have $226 dollars left to go... or $113, if everyone enters the code to double their donation.

With $8 (and the SPARK doubling code at checkout), you could purchase an entire literacy center for us. Even if you can only give a little bit, we appreciate your help!

Let's do this.

only $525 to go!

If we get roughly another $275 this week our project will be fully funded! Please help out if you can! We might even get the materials before Christmas.

Go to this link and enter SPARK.

And thank you Wellesley. I see you out there, supporting the literacy.

smells

"Ms. Haley! Ms. Haley! Every time we come down to lunch, I smell something."

-Mr. J

off to an excellent start!

We already have 3 donations! Thank you so much.

Please keep in mind that the matching offer is a limited time event. Don't wait! Help The Land of I Can today!

Yes We Can Read Like First Graders!

Finally, here it is! Click on this link to go straight to my project and donate.

Important: During the checkout process, you must enter this code in order to double your money. The code is SPARK.

Don't wait!! DonorsChoose will only match up to $250k. If you are thinking of donating, the sooner the safer!

countdown is on...

In just THREE short hours I will post both my DonorsChoose project and the code that you can enter to get double your money! For this week only they have agreed to match every donation from family and friends dollar for dollar.

Check back soon!

surprise visitor tomorrow

We are having an extra special all-day visit tomorrow from Ms. J. I told them she is coming because they are the smartest Kindergartners in the whole city.

When a visitor came today, I told them the same thing. When I said, "you're practically famous," their eyes all lit up.

Five-year-olds are the best.

words

It's quiet time, and I just looked over at A with his head down, eyes closed, and realized how far we have come.

A couple of months ago every single day was a face-off. During quiet time, he would instantly begin to cry -- loudly. Eventually, I could get him to sit in his seat quietly, but he refused to close his eyes. If I asked him to close them he would scream and wake everyone up. I could never decide if it was better for me to get him to follow the rules, or to have quiet during quiet time. He had absolutely no skills for expressing what he needed or wanted, so he would simply cry all day long.

Today, someone upset him and he began to cry. All I had to say was, "use your words." He stopped crying and told me what had happened. I'm so proud of him.

Something that amazes me about teaching is how dynamic some of my relationships are with my kids. I need to supply constant care and growth in order to for them to remain positive. Sometimes my children need all of the support, scaffolding, love, and nurturing I can muster. Sometimes they need very little. For A, it's a hug first thing in the morning, a thumbs up at some point in the afternoon, and a little tough love.

I like winter because..

We are making a special writing project today. Everyone wrote "I like winter because.." and then filled it in. I am so please with how many children are inventive spelling. Some are still only hearing the beginning sound of a word (e.g., "M N M B P I D S" for "me and my brother play in the snow"), but others are working really hard to spell out whole words (e.g., "snou" for "snow").

That and the fact that 6 people had birthdays in November makes me feel like they are all growing up.

the first three months of teaching are like the first trimester of pregnancy

• Morning sickness
• Extreme tiredness and fatigue
• Mood swings
• Weight gain/loss 
• The “Oh man oh man oh man is this really happening? Can I survive these 9 months THAT LEAD INTO A LIFETIME OF CHILDREN?” thoughts

via We've Got a Diem to Carpe

I have officially survived the first three months of teaching.

things I have done today

- Slept until lunch time
- Ate a big breakfast (which I did not have to make)
- Laid in bed and read a book that was not required by anybody for anything
- Rode the holiday train around the loop
- Watched most of Season 4 of himym
- Ate apple pie

And I still have two days of vacation left. 

so excited for my next project!

Today I was reading a professional resource book on reading with children in small groups (guided reading) when I came across the sentence.. "Order the following supplies through your school in order to enhance your literacy centers." I loled. 

However, I did just finish selecting the literacy materials for my next DonorsChoose grant. Just thinking about how I would use all of the supplies makes me so excited! A lot of these materials would take me hours and hours to create on my own. Others I simply could not reproduce.

Check back in just over one week to see what our classroom needs!

thankfulness

This morning at creed meeting our AP invited some children to come up and share something they are thankful for.

"I am thankful for my school because a long long time ago black people weren't allowed to go to school."

-- Third Grade Student

I don't know who is more upset

Me or my kids.

"Ms. Haley, all of your kids need their clips moved. They had a lot of trouble lining up [at the end of recess]."

"All of them?"

"Yes, all of them."

And if there is one thing I have learned, never say a promise you don't intend to keep. I stood in front of them and moved every damn clip down. Silently.

Now, it's one thing if my kids are bad and that's that. But then another teacher came and found me to tell me that they really weren't that bad (probably because my face was twitching). And now I'm mad because another adult just forced me to punish my kids, and they apparently didn't deserve it.

Thank goodness for quiet time. Hopefully when it's all over everyone will have forgotten and that will be that.

save the date!

In two very short weeks, DonorsChoose is running a double your money event.

For every dollar you donate, they will match it! All you will need to do is enter a code, which I will happily supply to you.

Stay tuned for my latest project request. I'm going to hold off posting it until December 5th, when the Friends and Family Event begins.

This is basically a sale, and generosity is half off. Get ready.

one.

Only one day stands between me and four day bliss. My longest vacation since September.

And, my administration cancelled PD for tomorrow. We get to leave when the kiddies leave at 1:50.

One has never felt so good.

9 day 9 leaf challenge

We have 9 leaves to go on our tree. Nine students who are close but have not mastered letter recognition. So, I offered them a challenge. If we can help each other get all of the leaves up on the tree in 9 days, I am going to give them 5 marbles for their prize cup. They're pumped and we even made up a dance. I think we can do it!

word wall

A lot of people have a lot to say about word walls: height, size, letter font and color, etc. (Clarification -- when I say word wall, I mean the enormous part of my classroom devoted to the display of alphabetized target high frequency words.)

When I first started I did not see what the fuss was about. I hung my alphabet traditionally, above the white board and added words above each letter.

However, I recently read that you can tell what a teacher prioritizes from the way their classroom is arranged. With a pretty strong foundational in the alphabet at this point, I'm beginning to rethink all of my priorities. We need to read!

I stayed late last night, erased my objectives and schedule off the whiteboard, and here we are.

shake shake shake

And butter we did make!

butter

Today for science we are making butter... like the pilgrims. Although as of last night I wasn't entirely sure that the pilgrims churned butter. What I do remember is that when I was in Kindergarten, Mrs. T let us shake cream to our hearts content. And that is exactly what we are going to do today.

I can't wait!

reason #693 education is messed up

The people who make the rules are apparently ignorant of any actual classroom experience, and also have never spend a single hour with a child. 

How is it that I never noticed the tension between standards and developmentally appropriate practices before? How is it that I have taught Kindergarten for nearly four months and I'm just now getting really angry?

And all almighty, I am angry.

You know when my kids are happiest? When they're playing. You know when I have the fewest behavior problems? When they're playing. You know when I see the most enthusiasm for learning? When I'm lecturing at them while they sit still in their chairs. When they're playing.

We as a country are falling behind fast because we are FAILING at educating. So how do combat it? More standards. More tests. More of the same. Quantity over quality, America. That's your specialty.

k under pressure

Pressure? This is kindergarten, the happy land of building blocks and singalongs. But increasingly in schools across Massachusetts and the United States, little children are being asked to perform academic tasks, including test taking, that early childhood researchers agree are developmentally inappropriate, even potentially damaging. If children don’t meet certain requirements, they are deemed “not proficient.” Frequently, children are screened for “kindergarten readiness” even before school begins, and some are labeled inadequate before they walk through the door.

-- Boston Globe